Thursday, September 17, 2009

Asher Roth is Correct

Has it been a while? Yes. Am I aware I haven't updated the blog in about two weeks? Yes. Am I sorry? Yes. Have I lost my mojo and creative writing juices? No. Is this a new blog for all my adoring fans? Yes. Now let's get to business.

It's been a while, so we have some catching up to do. NHL 10 just came out, my recently purchased Sega Genesis came in the mail on Monday, I've seen Inglourious Basterds 18 times, I have a new roommate in addition to Matt "Rat" Rizzini, and I'm living in a building that was involved with a bad fire back when my dear Mother, Donna Kirwan (there's your shoutout Mom, Love, Jim) was a freshmen at Providence College. In other words, I've been a busy man. Many eyes were glued to the television this weekend as football is in the swing of things. Through college football and football football, we can learn many things. The coolest name of all time belongs to a Notre Dame wide receiver named Golden Tate. Tate Forcier threw a beauty of a pass to upset Notre Dame. I enjoy Tate(r Tots) with my cheeseburgers at lunch. Right now is just an awesome time to be alive. I truly wouldn't want to have lived in any other generation then right now. I know, I know, I know you're asking "Jim what about living in the 50's, you look like you could fit right in on That 70's Show!", but screw that. If I lived in the 50's, I wouldn't be blogging right now, and I wouldn't be able to see Inglourious Basterds.

Praising Inglourious Basterds in this blog is way overdue. I feel like I should create a word to describe the movie, so I'll be working on that over the next few weeks. I will try my best to discuss my true feelings towards this film without giving away any big details for those who haven't seen it yet (and shame on you by the way). Watching this guy, this guy and this guy kill Nazis for two hours and 45 minutes is worth the obscene price of admission. In addition to it being a Quentin Tarantino movie, it is also hilarious. It's always funny when Michael Myers is making a cameo (we all should forgive him for The Love Guru). It's also funny to listen to Eli Roth, Omar Doom (if this his real name then he might give Golden Tate a run for his money) and Brad Pitt try to speak Italian. I have a whole new love and affection for the Italian language and Italy as a whole. I only appreciated Italy for its food, like Chef Boyardee, when in reality, there is so much more. If you still haven't seen this movie, keep in mind that David Bowie AND Ziggy Stardust get involved in this movie. Can you really ask for more?

Okay now for something completely off topic. College. Where legends are made of, nights are forgotten and magic is made. I've been back at PC for 9 days and I could tell you numerous stories already about the crazy stuff that's gone on. In a nutshell, a certain someone on my floor bought a security camera for his room, I witnessed a drunken karate fight that ended when one combatant sprinted down the hallway like Sarah the Cheetah and screamed "Eveyone run for your life, this kid knows karate!", I partaked in the annual Golf Party (don't ask), enjoyed some quality time in the Suites, went 6 for 12 from 3-point range in two pickup basketball games, spent over $500 on books that I'm not interested in, and even had an hour and 24 minute phone call with a department head for a certain book company that screwed me over. To say the very least, it's been an interesting week thus far. One part that may go unoticed when people talk about how great their college is is their dorms. Dorms are so interesting, each one is different in its own special way, kinda like all of us when we were in Kindegarten. And also like how every kid who played tee-ball ended up with an undefeated record because every game ended in a tie. Isn't it refreshing to start a sentence with 'and'? Anyways, back to dorms, they are just so interesting. On my desk right now are a pair of aviators, my hockey trophy for being named MVP when I was eleven and was the first line center for team Fleet Bank, a Paul Pierce bobblehead, three bottles of Coke, a bookstore receipt, a hockey puck, DunkAroos, silverware, these type of glasses (still don't know how I ended up with these), and some pictures of myself with Danny Allen. On the walls in front of me and to my left are pictures of some great Americans, such as James Dean, Scottie Pippen, the Reservoir Dogs, Nomar Garciapopup, Meg and Jack White, Patrick "20 Cent" Kane, Hooter the Owl and the Red Hot Chili Peppers wearing nothing but socks. College just gives me so much freedom. Where else in the world can I have such a sweet setup? Everything I need in life is here in this tiny room. My brain, Coke, Easy Mac, and a computer. The rest is history.

To be very honest with you all, this post is basically about nothing. Danny Allen complained to me via facebook that I haven't posted in a while, and Danielle Rizzini 'liked' it, so I'm just writing this to spare time. To close out this post, I'm just going to leave you with a few facts.
  • After snapping an 8 game losing streak to Matt Rizzini in NHL 09 with Team USA, I finally won 3-1 with Team Sweden. Special thanks to Johan Franzen, Henrik Lundqvist, Peter Forsberg and the crossbar for having my back in this one.
  • I know a few of you have been wondering about Rachel Wall's reaction to the previous blogpost. After texting me saying something along the lines of "I'm excited to see it!", I responded with a "Just promise me you wont kill me", to which Rachel responded an hour later with "I'm going to kill you". Rachel has since forgiven me for posting pictures of her on the internet and even claims to get revenge on me somehow.
  • Tails never fails.
  • The most absurd piece of written work will be posted in the near future on this blog, and just keep in mind that I didn't write it, JOM did.
  • I'm also thinking of having me and Ryan Urkiel, who I think is the only other sane person on my floor, interview Joe Rippolone, who is by far the most unique person I will ever meet in my life.
  • Taylor Swift deserves an apology from Kanye West. That was mad messed up son. I don't know what looked worse, Kanye getting up on stage and doing that, or Kanye's girlfriend.
  • Everybody hide your beagle, Vick's an Eagle. Thank you Wade Zawatsky for that.
  • I apologize for this crappy post once again, I'll have something better very soon.
  • I really don't know how I cracked 500 visitors on this thing, but thank you very much. This was kind of a joke when it started out, but me and Danny will actually be making tshirts for the blog soon. Since this blog is mocking pop culture and myself, I'm thinking of letting the readers of this blog pick out which tshirt design would be best through a poll. That'll be up soon.
  • It kind of scares me that people are still upset that this guy died.

Welp, see ya later.