Thursday, November 12, 2015

Red Cups and Space Camp

Been a pretty solid week for me personally. First, an article I wrote on some bands that prove that rock is still alive was posted over at DOJO Zine and now I have two articles up at SteelChair Magazine. Since I feel like I've been on a roll I've decided to do a Pop Culture Smorgasbord to really round up what has been going on in the pop culture universe lately. Let's get down to it.

  • Legends of the Hidden Temple needs to make a comeback. This could be TV gold here. That game was so much fun and it looked like a legitimate challenge pitting brains and brawn with a Mayan Temple. My idea is that you have to had grown up in the 90's to participate, as that generation would appreciate it the most, therefore trying the hardest at it. I would keep the grand prize as Space Camp, because let's face it, that would still kick a lot of ass and it was always so mysterious. I'd love to hear some reviews of Space Camp and find out if it was worth finding Olmec's lost relics. Television needs more Blue Barracudas, Purple Parrots and  Red Jaguars. 
Jog Down Memory Lane
  • I saw James Bond 'Spectre' the other night, and it was a true delight. I am a huge Bond fan, and here are my quick rankings run down: 1. Sean Connery, he had the look, great storylines and was believable as Bond, 2. Daniel Craig, the most badass of the Bonds, yet he also has the charm, dry humor and has also benefited from awesome scripts in a modern era, which is tough for a character created in 1953. 3. Pierce Brosnan, he had the perfect look for Bond, and played the character well, but most of the storylines he had to deal with were dogshit. 4. Roger Moore, he had good to great storylines, but he looked like your friends Dad who was clearly older than all the other parents at the Saturday morning soccer games and was not a believable Bond. 5. George Lazenby, he wasn't bad! He just, you know, was only in one Bond movie, so that kinda limits him. 6. Timothy Dalton.  The late 80's may have been great for music and teen movies, but it was not for Bond. How boring. Terrible hair too. 
  • I am sick of every new show being touted as "America's new #1 *enter 'sitcom', 'comedy', 'drama', 'crime show', 'waste of time' here*". I refuse, REFUSE, to believe the commercials telling me that 'Super Girl' was the new #1 show in the country. I'm all for a female superhero getting her own show, but why Super Girl? It's essentially a spin off. Couldn't Wonder Woman happen? Maybe a new female superhero? Anything, but not Super Girl. It's just unappealing. Super Man himself doesn't even wear a mask, which I always thought was dumb. 
  • Halloween recently happened, so I'm already plotting my costume next year. Since I'm trying to get in shape, my costume goal is to be Jim Morrison in his prime. If I don't get in shape, I'll be overweight, downhill-peyote-smoking Jim Morrison, which is still decent enough, but just not ideal. The other downside to being downhill Jim Morrison is a need to grow facial hair, which is challenging for me. I'm gonna use this picture here to motivate myself to the Lizard King by next year. Pray for me. 

  • Missy Elliott must have realized that people still liked her after her Super Bowl cameo that came out of nowhere. She dropped her first video today and it's pretty damn good. As I got to thinking about Missy Elliott, it hit me that "Misdemeanor" isn't that great of a nickname. When it comes to street cred, misdemeanors really aren't that big of a deal. It's like she got busted shoplifting lipstick or got caught for leaving the scene of a fender bender. Misdemeanor doesn't have the clout that Ghostface Killah or Ol' Dirty Bastard does. That being said, this is a much needed welcome and hopefully we can get the next "Work It" from Missy Misdemeanor Elliott soon. 

  • Couple of the Year finalists Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale split up, as did Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, who I hear are country music artists. This is interesting in the fact that the ageless wonder Gwen Stefani is now hooking up with Blake "Patty Cake" Shelton and are coworkers on The Voice. To get back at Gwen, Gavin Rossdale tried calling up Miranda Lambert to have a fling on their own, but Lambert reportedly heard the name and said "Who?" You would think that a guy who was the singer of Bush and gave us hits like 'Machinehead', 'Glycerine' and 'Everything Zen' would be able to hold up a long time marriage. Oh, then it came out he banged a nanny. I'll tell ya, that next Bush album is gonna have some deep lyrics in it!
  • South Park recently had an episode making fun of people who use Yelp, which many people think was long overdue. Yelp responded back with a lawsuit, somehow thinking that they South Park, of all shows, would take it seriously. I remember as a kid hearing the outcry for South Park from parents who thought it was corrupting the country and it should be taken off TV immediately. That was 1997. South Park is a national treasure at this point. All I keep wondering to myself is why would anyone strike back at South Park? No one is every going to win going up against Matt Stone and Trey Parker. They take nothing serious, and they're funny as hell, so it's just an impossible battle to win. South Park's response was brilliant, as you can imagine and can see right here:
  • Apparently the new Steve Jobs movie, you know, the one that came after the Steve Jobs movie that most people would still refer to as 'new' isn't doing well. It's been dropped from over 2,000 theaters. This made me think  of how it was probably the biggest Hollywood letdown since True Detective 2, which of course made me think of Rachel McAdams. Rachel McAdams is interesting to me because I hate her. Every role she has had in every movie I have seen her in, I hate her because she's a bitch. As I pondered this some more, it hit me that maybe I actually like Rachel McAdams, because she portrays her characters who I hate so much, so well. Mean Girls: bitchy Regina George. The Notebook: I forget her character but I had to see that movie so many times I just hate her. Wedding Crashers: Bitchy chick who falls for the douchebag until it's basically too late. Sherlock Holmes: super bitchy Irene Adler. Midnight in Paris: cheating bitchy fiance breaking poor Owen Wilson's heart. Everything she's in she's mean and I hate her, but as an actress I guess that's a good thing and I'm just so incredibly conflicted by her. I hate to like her? Or I like her so much I hate her? Now I'm confused. 
This helps her case.
  • I think I could write a book on this topic, but it hit me that Brand New's album 'The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me' is essentially Jesse Lacey's very own 'In The Aeroplane Over the Sea' by Neutral Milk Hotel. More on this in the near future, if you're interested now, look up what both albums are about and try connecting the dots. Thank me later.
  • It is rumored that Jimmy Fallon has a drinking problem. So would I if I made a movie like 'Fever Pitch'. 

  • Harry Potter fans rejoice! Newt Scamander is here to get your hopes up! I guess this will be about a wizard who wrote one of Ron Weasley's textbooks and will focus on his life in New York City in the 1920's where Irish people were frowned upon but flappers and gin joints were okay. I'd love to see the Marauder's Map be used to find the closest speakeasy. One can dream. 
  • Lil Wayne had his house raided recently, where cops took pieces of art from him so that he could pay off a debt he owed to a jetline, or something outrageous like that. This is the most productive and newsworthy thing Lil Wayne has done in years. 6 Foot 7 Foot was a stupid song anyways.
  • People complaining about the Starbucks red cup fiasco is why other countries hate us. It's a cup. You throw it out after overpaying for a warm beverage that you have for what, 40 minutes at most? This generation is so fucked.
Guys, what is the big deal, seriously?
  • File this one under things that brought great joy into my life: Taylor Swift is getting sued for $42 million for being a big fat phony. This is even more satisfying to me since some little douchebag from London kept on tweeting at me because he couldn't take a joke like my Taylor Swift/Sonic Youth tshirt ripoff was and tried telling me that she didn't physically make the tshirts, as if I thought she was working the tshirt press by hand. God I hate that kid. Sorry for venting, but anywho yeah apparently T Swift was being sued by some hack who claimed she ripped off his lyrics for that mind numbingly awful 'Shake It Off' song. This guy is probably gonna lose, and honestly, I hope he does because he has poor taste in choosing performers to sue. Sue someone who actually makes good music at the very least. 
  • The X-Files are returning! Who would've thought, a show about Alien conspiracies is already more believable that Donald Trump claiming that he can make America great again. 

Thursday, November 5, 2015


I'm thrilled to announce that a piece I wrote for DOJO Zine has recently been posted on their site! This is my first official article that has not been posted on here. To say I am excited is an understatement. My blog features 5 bands that I believe are proof that Rock is still alive and well in 2015. These are all bands that I love and totally believe in, and this was an article that I put my heart and soul into, and I'm very happy with the end result.

Be sure to check out DOJO Zine. Dylan Johnson is doing some fantastic work over there.  He snapped all the pictures, and all of them are epic. This zine is brand spankin' new and it appears to be off to a hot start. I love this site and I hope you do too. So check out my post right here, and give Dojo some love!